Anyone who’s attended more than one wedding ceremony knows there’s a handful of classic sappy wedding quotes that get way overused. Don’t get us wrong—here at Tahoe South, we agree there’s an undeniable sweetness to those speech-time favorites. But we also know it’s undeniably awesome when a sappy-sweet wedding speech is spiced with a tongue-in-cheek reality check or two. After all, marriage ain’t easy! And a bit of humor can be a great catalyst for lasting journey. That said, consider spicing up your sweetheart speech with one of the hardy heartfelt words of wisdom below. You never know… you might even get a smile out of grandma on a few of these.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
~Emma Bombeck
My wife dresses to kill; she cooks the same way.
~Henry Youngman
My wife, Mary, and I have been married for 47 years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
~Jack Benny
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
~Tim Allen
Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
~Phyllis Diller
Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.
~Anonymous
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.
~Ann Bancroft
To keep your marriage brimming; with love in the loving cup… whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
~Groucho Marx
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.
~Winston Churchill
Marriage: Where one person is always right and the other is a man.
~Anonymous
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
~Socrates
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage—they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
~Rita Rudner
All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
~Raymond Hull
Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need ten years before you can call yourself a beginner.
~Jerry Seinfeld
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
~Henny Youngman
Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
~Chris Rock
My wife was afraid of the dark … then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
~Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
~Evelyn Hendrickson
Are you getting ready to plan your wedding? Here at Tahoe South, we believe weddings should be even more fun and awesome than these hilarious quotes! Visit our homepage and get in touch with one of our incredible venues today!
